Sunday, March 13, 2011

Toolbox Murders

 After Tommy Lee Jones as a US Marshal it was a change of pace and genre as I slipped into the DVD player the horror Toolbox Murders. This is the re-make and for some reason or other I can't re-call if I have seen the original or not. Something is floating around in my mind but it isn't definite as to yes or no.
 Well it doesn't matter for if the re-make is anything to go by then maybe the original was pretty forgettable to. This will be one of the simplest reviews I could ever hope to write as this was pure garbage. It is surprising in that so many of the horror aficianados out there have praised this movie and yet I just fail to see why. Sorry guys but either I'm blind or can't tell a decent flick when I see it, but this as far as a slasher film goes was less than ordinary.
 The slasher flick that I watched several nights ago Buried Alive was better than this...and that was bad!! But at least it had some genuinely scary moments. This was simply devoid of any scares or tenseness. Like all bad horrors what was about to happen was obvious and so sign posted it was boring.
 It has a promising premise in that all the murders would be commited with tools but when they happen they are lame. Honestly all the viewer sees is a bit off blood spraying about and a few screams. It is like watching pornography with no sex!!! It is also hideously cliqued in having a character that is so obviously not the killer as to be an insult to your intelligence. He has long hair and looks and acts creepy but for goodness sake could the makers have made it any more obvious it wasn't him??
 The acting is awful even by b-grade horror standards. The scares non-existent, the murders and bloodshed devoid of imagination and explicitness. Fortunately the plot is somewhat original but unable to save this floundering duck.
 Toolbox Muders is in one word is a clanger. Crap isn't a good enough word for it. I honestly groaned at the agony of it all and it surprises me that genuine horror fans of who I'm not one actually think this is a good slasher flick. Sorry folks but it ain't!!! It should be sliched, diced, and feed to the fishes and erased from history. Don't waste your time or money on this one. There are much superior slasher films going than this insult to the genre.
Click here to be further insulted by this trash of a slasher:
And if that didn't waste enough time then click here:

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